St. Teresa of Avila’s interior life during her novitiate

November 4, 2021 • 2 min

From Life of St. Teresa of Avila written by Herself, page 24
By St. Teresa of Avila

CHAPTER V.

ILLNESS AND PATIENCE OF THE SAINT. THE STORY OF A PRIEST WHOM SHE RESCUED FROM A LIFE OF SIN.

She continues to speak of the great infirmities she suffered, and the patience God gave her to bear them, and how He turned evil into good, as is seen from something that happened in the place where she went for a cure.

I forgot to say how, in the year of my novitiate, I suffered much uneasiness about things in themselves of no importance; but I was found fault with very often when I was blameless.

I bore it painfully and with imperfection; however, I went through it all, because of the joy I had in being a nun.

When they saw me seeking to be alone, and even weeping over my sins at times, they thought I was discontented, and said so.

All religious observances had an attraction for me, but I could not endure any which seemed to make me contemptible. I delighted in being thought well of by others, and was very exact in everything I had to do.

All this I thought was a virtue, though it will not serve as an excuse for me, because I knew what it was to procure my own satisfaction in everything, and so ignorance does not blot out the blame.

There may be some excuse in the fact that the convent was not founded in great perfection. I, wicked as I was, followed after that which I saw was wrong, and neglected that which was good.